it's been 9 months since you passed away

I felt relieved when he passed away, because I know he's not hurting anymore. Couple of months of disbelief and struggle. Thanks for sharing your story and God bless and comfort you too. Then in October of 2019 I got a call at work again to come to the hospital and that Kimberly suddenly died of a heart massive heart attack at 54.I couldnt believe it was real and sure enough here I was again, this time I had no way of telling her see you again someday because my brain told me that saying goodbye to Lisa werent the right words. All this frustrates me on top of everything else. this is life what we deal with as best we can. See a translation. I would truly love to hear what others have done (remained or moved) and how they reflect on their choice. I took them for 2-3 weeks then went on a Mindfullness course and was able to stop the tabs easily. I feel horrible. I still cant believe hes gone. love you. But I guess it wasnt enough to keep him by my side. Sounds like me. If only I could land in some port, any port, perhaps I could find my footing again. I too lost the love of my life after 47yrs of marriage. This week I saw my daughter for the first time since he passed and now Im a wreck all over again. Husband and I were inseparable we did things together from doing laundry, taking walks etc. Im 61 going into 2 years without my wife of 24.its still hard to cope. I lost my son and then his father 150 days later. I hope my jumbled messy comments can help any who think about self harm. I do not belong in this world anymore. I said no, Im still married. The first year was filled with a kind of silliness, overall weirdnessi guess from shock..i was busy with the estate stuff and running around getting the legal things done i had to do. He passed suddenly 7-18-16, and I still cant believe he is gone. FREE 15 minute consults available to www.griefincommon.com members. Please stay strong and know that youre not alone. I lost my uncle 11 months ago. Living with cancer was all we had ever known. Maybe its some physical thing. I lost my wife/soulmate/angel and anchor August 2018 to shocking lung and brain cancer. I was her carer at home till she passed away and now I am broken hearted and dont know what to do. Ive also quit watching TV, which I think has been somewhat helpful. May God bless you all and help you to overcome your grief.. Its been 5 months for me though. Days and feel so alone at times afraid to speak of my grief people telling me I should be fine. You have always provided the family with care, concern, and love. Now I know no matter what happens to me, at least mom is forever safe and even transcended death. Blessings to you all and I pray that your suffering is eased a little each day and replaced with memories and blessings of joy. I cant escape it. I gave up everything of my old life when I came home and I dont regret a minute of it but now I feel so lost. I lost my husband 4 years this September and I feel as My faith has sustained me and has grown beyond what thought it could be. Date Calculator - Add or subtract days, months, years. Which is understandable. However, in my experience, I did not want to live after I lost my wife..for most of the year. How did any of you get up and do something for yourselves? But I still have so many questions. Sometimes I feel its the house we lived in thats keeping me from moving on so I am selling it and getting a smaller place. I have never recovered and the se ond christmas this year is,worse than last year. and of course my rat terrier Polly. They were able to get a heartbeat, he was on ventilator and all tests everything came back to normal. My crying break downs are now short and fewer, but any little memory can set me off. Its been two years coming up and the loss has gotten worst. I thought the second year would be easier. I HAVE TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE for my kids. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It. I try to filter the thoughts in my mind so as not to feel the pain. My husbands emotional return It does help to know that Im not some crazy women who doesnt know how to move on. I just want to be gone too. After being married for 42 years. my life has not been the same since I lost him, thats what I am lost without him and i feel everyone thinks i should have made more progess than i have. , I feel just as you do why leave me here my mother was my best friend my ladybug my diva I wake up everyday in so much pain it physically hurts Im scared of everything Im all alone it hurts like shit I cant even begin to explain. What that means is that Ive survived (so far) and a lot of people Ive known and loved did not. It doesn't get better, one week, one year, one decade later. What if lose him too? Granted, it was the best way for him, but he was not sick, i had no warning. It makes absolutely no sense now. We were married for 55 years and planned on living to the age of 90 and then we would be ready for God to call us home when he wanted to. She fought with ovarian cancer since 2011. I swim a lot and do Yoga and Mindfullness. I wish someone would share some hope.. something to inspire me to keep going. I am 76 and my husband of 54 years died unexpectedly 3 months before our 55th anniversary. Im sorry i dont have an answer for you but i want you too know that you and your feelings are not alone. But more so I feel awful for my mom. I believe this is true. Her smile and laugh and crazy hair. I can barely function and go on. After all, pets give us unconditional love, boundless loyalty and unwavering companionship. Wishing you peace on this day of remembrance. He passed fifteen days after our 47th Anniversary. Ann Marie it gets better slowly. I saw your post. I keep asking myself inside and out how can this be. I still find myself breaking down behind closed doors, and hate going through the motions of life pretending like everything is fine. "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.". I managed him somehow . Be patient with yourself. Allie, it has to get better. Take it from an old guy. Breathe. Now Im at Year 4. Take Care and Thank You, Your email address will not be published. He was 45 when he passed I was 43. But I dont want it to not matter. thought in his body. I did not dwell on these thoughts the first year but now my mind wont stop wondering! I havent been able to do things that I normally did since the day he left. Im carrying my grief alone, with friends that will never understand the pain, and a sister that is suffering just as much as me. Its way too much of a hassle! It reads like you loved very deeply and feel his loss keenly. The death of your child and the pain that comes with it don't disappear after 10 years another reality I slowly crashed into. I feel so empty and lost without her. In the poignant track's lyrics, G-Eazy describes longing to reunite with someone in his dreams . He had a massive heart attack but the insurance said he was not sick enough to have the tests to get treatment. I dont mean Im suicidal, but I feel like a rudderless ship being blown aimlessly about on an endless ocean. But speaking for myself I had to change focus, take the focus off him and onto those left behind. We have 4 daughters 24,21 and twin 15 year olds. We had 19 beautiful years together and 3 children the youngest being 10. all the time.God bless you. But that sadness seems like my last connection, and I dont want to lose that. I feel like Im never going to have a good day again. He used to say i was the wind beneath his wings oh, he had that so wrong, as i am stuck on the ground with not even a breeze under my wingsI do know how blessed i was to have had the 46 years with the love of my life. Sometime I just have the urge to pack up from my city and move but o know it want take the pain and emptiness I feel. So much its crazy. Gratitude is everything. Oh precious fellow travellers. very long visit duration I feel Im constantly stumbling through life on the edge of whats real and whats not. It's just me & my 6 year old son now. i can sit in front of tv for hours and not watch a single thing. I also have been through hell.Losing brother niece nephew going through breast cancer and my husband of lung cancer.This is now the third year and reality is now is hitting me,but I have to care for my mother ,and to ensure that my children and grandchildren who loved their grandfather so much to give them some stability. The finality of it all. Im trying. I miss my wife I came home from work 2018 found my wife on the bedroom floor. I lost my mother (and I was her caregiver) in early 2017 (basically congenital heart failure, but she fail on what I consider a good day for her and never recovered and passed away the next day). I have just come across your letter and I am sorry for your lost as well. We had no idea-didnt see the signs and Drs did not find things or look in right places. I hid from my emotions, thought I was in love again. I cant find joy. I too see couples similar age to me together and think how lucky they are to have each other. I thought I was moving forward but the holidays have definitely set me back. This past year has brought many changes, however, am taking one day at a time. . I do have my faith and helps sustain me The grief process has been awful but I am working with it. I dont want to hear it so I dont go out anymore. I keep asking myself to get up and do something but I dont. We only had 4 weeks from his diagnosis to his death, so it was all terribly fast. It was unexpected his passing we have been together since freshman year highschool have two LIVING boys 2 and 3 years old. Really! It is sad to say 45, but I have no greater desire to be laying in the plot next to her so that I can be close to her for eternity. Dont compare yourself with those whom you know have had a loss. Your story is so touching. There are times when sheer terror for my future without her just paralyzes me. This week for no particular reason has been extremely hard. Oh Casey, I feel just like you. I dated soon after her death as someone that i would not have pursued asked me out. Am I wrong? i am thankful for ever day . I feel guilty that I am still mourning the loss after two years of my brother`s passing. - Unknown. In February he will have been gone for two years, and while I have accepted the fact that he is gone, I feel so hollowed out. I have lost a GREAT. That I went into flight mode and tried to protect myself from anymore pain, from the hurt. Ill die with it there. He was my life. Thats hard at 69 . These things help ME and every one is different but I would go completely mad if I didnt keep busy. Even negativity so unlike me! Thanking God for the time I had with my husband we were together 36 years but it seems harder now. I believe that it will always be a part of my life. My prayers be with you all. Love and understanding yo all of us. I dont want to. He took his own life. I hope you have found your way I am trying to live in hope that things will get better. So Ive decided to join her. I was absolutely devastated. I was able to bury him next to his father. And I took him of life support. Dear Charaine I made the decision to bottle all my emotions inside of me and sooner or later they had to come out which they did about a month ago. Ive been bombarded by e-harmony and match.com. She had battled Ovarian Cancer for 8 years. She was crying every day on the way to and from work. i thought i was getting a bit better getting on with things and losing the 3 stone i put on. The memories we've made will go on and on. He, of course, was very good at taking care of us all when we were sick. RIP. I feel so sorry that my wife had so much pain to go though and nothing could save her life. But I have many things I need to do first before then. It's been 21 days or more since you e-filed your return ; It's been six weeks since you mailed a paper tax return ; Where's My Refund? Life has lost its luster. Itll be 2 years in August since my husband passed away and my life has changed forever.I long to join him but know I have to keep going one step at a time one breath at a time. They then called us to get in the room where he was, he was there lying on the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was hooked on tubes a lot of tubes with the machine that was pumping real hard, my oldest daughter that was with me was screaming, we love you so much dad, you can do this etc. I try to live life as if I am ok, but I am not. I'm dropping a video in a few minutes on this The inability to function is real. Over time your focus will change, youll not lose him but you have to allow yourself to be distracted, the pain only eases when you do. I still grieving my life totally revoved around them especially when mum got sick. How could you do this to me? - Unknown. They may not even be pearls, but something beautiful and shining, lovely days to counteract the darkness. read your post and it could a mirror of my life! The twelve month anniversary of my wifes passing came and I thought I would cope but I totally lost it. Now year two is truly confusing. Many blessings for all of you. Now I was worried am I on the rebound am I needing to be with anyone . Right now, this moment, put away the baggage from the past, shake yourself free from the fear of the future unknown. My mom passed away July 2017, 6 months later my boyfriend passed in January 2018. Not sure how to deal with this anymore. Its been crazy. I lost my beloved mom on October 5, 2018. I cant begin to describe how heartbroken I am and the second year is the toughest. 100% safe for your site Now this week is his anniversary and Im a real crazy mess. & loving companion passed 18 months ago. I had him cremated. It seems I put so much of me into trying to get through the first year for our adult children, somehow the pain of the second year is catching me off guard. This loss has left me feeling like i have lost all ability to find any happiness. Remember That You Are Not Alone in Your Grief. Do I see a doctor, join an old unhappy womens group, I just want to be through being lonely and miserable. So I was been very very careful about how I was feeling questioning everything . Im 72 years old I feel like I have to sneak around and hide out just to be with him it causes so much trouble so much stress we cant hardly enjoy being with each other because of my three grown kids. I have read your posts and want to share a couple discoveries that may help take the edge off your suffering and pain. And usually in his favourite colours. Everyday is a battle, i lost many months that is unaccountable for and emotionally not coping. Im angry at everyone, especially myself. I am not outgoing and heave no interest in making new community or establishing a new normal. My life with my beloved was just fine, and I thanked God constantly, for the gift of my soulmate. Trying anything and everything. Imagine how he felt. Not at you, but with you. I want you to know that I feel alone without you. Crying every day is my normal now. Hi, I,m in the second year of my husbands death. My friends have gone on with their own lives. I am beyond guilty because I was the one to ask him to get the shot and it was because of me that he had been so weakened by that rare disease. I try to keep positive and remember that the love I have for him is stronger than anything in this world. So these last few days when it hit me hard, he has been understanding and supportive, and knows why Im suddenly sleeping 9-10 hrs/night and hardly able to do anything during the day. The second year is hard , I dont know if its harder but definitely the break downs still happen Acceptance sits in. Be patient with those who dont understand. We also experience anticipatory grief, or the feelings of grief while our pet is still living, but we are aware of an . By doing that, I cheated myself a little but it wouldnt last much. Best regards Conor. Somewhere down the line, and its different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. If i was not worried about my cats i would prefer to be dead. I could come to him with anything, and he was always there for me. I keep telling myself it is my fault that I have no after work friends and I need to make attempts at meeting people BUT feels like I cant move. A person in this stage may feel the need to keep busy all the time, or do what they . She had brain hematoma initially, she got sepsis after a month being in a coma. For example, the function returns "4 months" between the dates 9/30/15 and 2/28/16 (even though the 28th is the last day of the month). I function. since than i have been alone and find that i need to find out who i am without her. We would have had 28 years together next month. Every journey is unique and we just get through our own way. Im alone for everything, no friends, no family, just me and my little babies. Her not being here Well a couple months after he was killed. lost both my boys 2 years ago 37 38 4 2016 and 9 2016 you are in my thoughts and prayers . Just do what u are comfortable with and dont use this time to begin new friendships/ activities unless you want to. Sofocus on you, dont try to cling to himhe is still there and will rest easier seeing that youve got this. I lost my husband 2 years ago. It may be when we meet in the hereafter. How do I start to heal? I lost my father 18th month ago sudden stoke he was with me I thought he was suffering from a low and I was treating him for that as he was type 1 diabetic. I hate that people talk about it as a loss like divorce or getting laid off. Im truly sorry for every one of your losses. Scars are only ugly to people who cant see. Today is the second Thanksgiving without my husband, who I lost 18 months. I have been dating someone for six months now. I hold his hand,calling his name tried to woke him up, then a nurse came to me and asked if I needed to call a priest, I was so shocked! Losing my mother was horrendous . I try to act normal and sometimes its really hard. Both of my parents died on Valentines Day only difference is my Mother passed 28 years earlier this is tough for me, maybe divine intervention.

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